Life at its fullest,

“If you could see, among others, one person for at least one hour everyday, who would that person be?”

After a short telephone conversation tonight this question popped into my head. I realized that even if never imposed, I would forever know my answer to this provocative statement. With no name to drop, explanation is in order.

My choice would be a person that has made me laugh every single time I’ve seen them, since the day we met. A person that I know would be there if ever I needed them. Someone that always seems to leave me with a smile on my face and a warmth in my chest that rarely seems to roll around in any other situation. Seemingly so shallow, they are among the deepest of people I’ve ever had the pleasure of spending time with. With a past so devastating, a present so open yet hidden, and a future so beautiful and promising, I see further dreams in their eyes with every encounter. With no romanticism in mind or anywhere in store, this particular person is someone that in all cases I look to for companionship and guidance after earlier failed searches, with attempt comes realization, and love is nothing that I want from them.

It’s hard for us as a species to ignore the jealousy that corrodes our minds. It is also hard for us not to mistake admiration with pursuance. I admire this person with no plans to pursue them for other reasons. I love who I love and I admire who I admire. But not everyone will always understand my ways of reasoning or the placing of relationships on my oak of acquaintances. And that in itself makes me the loneliest I could be.

So yes, If i could spend at least one hour everyday with one person among others, I know exactly who my final decision would be. But in the mindset of humans, I would never be able to spend one hour with that one person everyday without an eruption of anger and jealousy in some of the people around me. Whether it be out of admiration, or Love.

and I wanna get ill.

Goingggggg to Tampa today. No phone or computer, don’t text of call /:

Of knowing that even though all the people in journalism with me will grow up by the end of the year just like I did last year.

for some reason its like publishing something an having a big deadline every month for like a year straight makes you grow into a really mature, well organized person. lol

that was my philosophical note for the day.

text<3

rubyisbeastly:

I hate journalism its so boring and im totally failing

i love how every computer at my school is a mac

makes me feel like i go to a rich school

lol im sitting in journalism at a mac right now (:

With everyday that passes I see how much more I miss you. You made me happier than words could ever describe and I regret the day that I let you fly away without getting a chance to really say goodbye. You were all I could ever ask for. You had a smile that could make my day, no matter what. You had so much passion and willingness to do whatever it took to see me. Im not gonna lie, you were an excellent musician. But all of that is now that past, and all I have are the memories of our days together that have been haunting my dreams since you left. I miss you so much, I just thought you should really know. 

As I grow old and see the changes in myself, my friends, the ones I love, I notice that almost everything in my life is truly amazing. I see that people will always change, but the love that I have for people will always be there. On the other hand, I see the changes in the world and what our government is getting down to. It makes me sick to my stomach to imagine the world that might children will live in.